You think you are the unseen… That if you pull your hat down low enough and the collar of your coat up high enough that no one will see you. That if you lurk in the shadows they will all just pass by. That however loud you scream no one will ever hear. That if you make enough noise and cause enough surface layer trouble, they will just leave you alone. And this all makes no sense at all because you are desperate beyond words to be seen, yet the idea of being seen fills you with a terror that also defies words and leaves your hands shaking, your mind racing and salt water exiting from eyes that you do not dare raise to meet the eyes of others because what if they don’t see, or what if they DO see…What happens if they don’t run? What happens if they stay? What happens if all those lies in your head, that right now are the only truth you know, turn out to be lies after all? What then? What if they stay? What if they see and still stay? What then? Because that challenges those lies. That challenges those supposed truths in your head that say you are worthless, you are rubbish, you are undeserving, you are unlovable, you are nothing. And the pressure in your head is building and building and you don’t know where to go, or what to say, or where to look, or what to do and it builds and it builds and the pulse comes faster and faster and faster and faster until you cannot hear or see or feel or move or stay or go or do or be and then you realise you are breathing. And with that influx of air, a moment of space appears. And in that moment of space, however fleetingly, you remember, and you stop. And you see that those spirals that threaten to strangle you from the inside out maybe aren’t all that there is. Maybe, just maybe in that momentary stillness that you are not even sure happened because it was gone again so quick, there was something else there. Something that wasn’t dark or scary or painful or threatening, yet was all those things because it was unknown. What if that thing was light? What if… What if you could allow that possibility to exist… Just for one moment.. And what if that moment happened more than once.. And what if it kept happening until it became more than just an untrusted possibility.. What if.. What if that became a Thing. A something else. Another option. And what if that Unknown Thing was to become Known.. And what if over there in that Unknown, the pain was still pain, and the fear was still fear, but there were some new Things that had never been there before? What if in the Unknown there was hope? What if there was love? What if there was faith? What if there was a world of colours that you never even dared dream could exist at all, let alone exist for you? What if there were things so beautiful that it made your eyes leak with pure joy because words were not enough to explain the fact that your heart was overflowing and had dropped out of your eyes a little because you could not contain the fact that you felt so fucking ALIVE. What if.. What if.. What if you could begin? What if you could allow the possibility to exist that maybe…. Maybe there is something else. The darkness and the shadows are never too far away. They will still be there if you want to go visit… But maybe.. Maybe they are not enough to hold you anymore. Maybe it is time to take that first tentative step out of that mire of blackness and see if maybe there is more.. Maybe the time will come when you are grateful that the darkness exists because it makes you so much more grateful for the light and the colour, and you will see that there is beauty in the darkness as well. It sacrifices itself to allow the light and the colour to be seen. It allows us to hate it, detest it, fear it, loathe it, use it, abuse it so that we can step out from it and thank it for the lessons it has taught us. The light cannot exist without the dark. And the light is so strong and beautiful because the dark has been, is and will be. But the light always comes. It cannot stay dark forever. Life is all of this. The full spectrum. And I am writing this to myself because in the dark I believed I was safe. I never knew there was anything else. And when I let that possibility exist for the split second in that space I did not dare believe was real that there was something else, the world opened up. And words are merely sign posts. Words spin webs to ensnare us so that we stay long enough to create our own stories. To have our own experience. To find our own magic. So I dare you to allow that possibility to exist. I dare you to have an experience. I dare you to find your magic. I dare you to find you. I dare you to be the you that you were intended to be. I dare you to be the very best you that you can be. And I will take the double dare. Because I have glimpsed that Unknown thing and I will keep walking forward in faith that I still know not very much at all, which means there is a whole lot more. So I will keep daring. I will keep walking no matter how many times I fall over, or want to stop, or feel my feet are so heavy I cannot move them, or turn around in circles on the spot because I don’t know what to do and get so dizzy I land in a heap on the ground, but then laugh at myself and my idiocy and get up knowing exactly where to go. So I dare you to allow the what if… Because.. Well.. What if….
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CONNECTION SPACE
We live in an age where we have so many different ways to Connect, and yet many people are feeling the heartache of disconnection more intently than ever before. There are those who say the Internet and technology are the very best things to ever enter this world, and others who say nothing worse has ever befallen humanity. Maybe it's a matter of perspective and how we use these great advances we have made in the ability to Connect our world. In the West, we have the capacity to Connect via the world wide web available to us pretty much wherever we go, at any time of day or night. Sometimes this does not feel like a good thing, but what if we were able to begin to use it in a more positive way?
It is well known that what we put out, we get back. What if we all began to use this amazing web for positive/supportive connection and to empower us to feel a part of, rather than using it as a platform to compare ourselves with everyone else and judge ourselves against them? How many times have you been scrolling social media and wished you had someone else's life? Or sat there feeling "better than" when you see what others are putting out there? Both ends of this scale perpetuate disconnection. They create a feeling of separation, of "I am different." Whether we are saying "I am worse" or "I am better", the focus is on the places of disconnection rather than connection. What if we were able to nurture a different attitude? What if we began to look for the places we DID connect? What if we began to come from the place of knowing that often what we let others see may not be how we really feel, and what they let us see may not be their inner reality either...
This is a place to practice and explore wholehearted connection and expression, learning to show up as you are, how you are. By supporting healthy expression and authentic healing work, we are working to nurture connection with ourselves, with others and with this beautiful world we live in. (Visit the Silence Space for some visual reminders of what is out there...) When we approach life as a multitude of opportunities to connect, then suddenly there is opening, there is space. Where there was loneliness and a feeling of scarcity, suddenly there is community and abundance. We invite you to be a part of our Connection...
Beautifully expressed my friend. I know well those moments that are so fleeting, you wonder if you really felt them at all. The ones, that if we allow, become the change. Help us see and feel the truth. Thank you for sharing a timely reminder.